"Watch Your Tone."...

Can I be really honest for a minute?

This Christmas was probably one of the hardest ones I've had since becoming a mom. (The only one that even comes close involves road tripping with a case of the tummy bug! I'm sure you get the idea.) This year was challenging because my daughter with special needs was really struggling. Due to a variety of factors (outside of her control) she wasn't excited for Christmas, had no energy, and was behaving in very irrational, explosive, and anxious ways. This is NOT her. We are so very thankful to have figured out what was happening, made some medical adjustments, and mostly have our sweet girl back again! But, it was a very rough patch for weeks- particularly over the holidays. During this time, I was reminded of something very important. Regardless of the circumstances, our tone as mothers sets the atmosphere for our home and family.

You see, during the initial weeks of the struggle I allowed myself to became worried, frustrated and sometimes impatient when these blow-ups and triggers occurred. After all, I didn't know how to change what was happening. I didn't know what to do. I didn't even know who could help me! As a result, I was on edge at times, overwhelmed, and frustrated. As you can imagine, the entire household became the same. Although it was very understandable, my tone wasn't helping our family dynamics. Then one day came the worst explosion yet. It lasted well over an hour, was loud, explosive, and involved sobbing. But this time, I determined I was going to respond differently. I stayed calm. (There may have been a few tears and there were lots of prayers), but I stayed patient, loving, firm, and gentle. And you know what? The tension in our home melted away that day. After the outburst subsided, the rest of the day was beautiful and filled with peace and calm.

Oh, moms, our tone is so powerful! We truly lead our kids by example. When we live our lives in hurried, stressed, and frantic ways, our children feel it. They may act out, become angry, or even be anxious depending on their age. But in contrast, when we are responding to life in a patient, calm, and gentle tone (even if we don't always feel it on the inside!!), they tend to respond in the same way. *Note - If we have been anxious or frustrated for days, it may take some time for the new positive emotional pattern to take hold. But, given practice, time, and consistency, it usually does.

How do we keep a peaceful, calm, and loving tone when we are confronted by chaos, stress, and conflict? Often it's a simple as these four steps.
1) Pause
2) Take a Quick Breathe & Collect Ourselves
3) Intentionally Choose A Calm Response
4) Repeat as Needed

What tone do you want to set for your home in 2019? What tone will you intentionally set today?

"The woman is at the heart of the home." - Mother Theresa